Soul Searching

I will not go into all the reasons, but I've been doing some soul searching lately.  I am searching for that which we all want - answers.  The problem, much like in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, is that I don't quite know the questions I should be asking myself.  And before you hint at it, 42 is not involved in this equations, except perhaps at the periphery. 

I renamed this blog The Path Forward and in doing so I've set goals for myself on things like fitness and healthy eating.  I blog periodically about running, or skating, or new years resolutions.  Still...I ask myself, what have I done in the last year?

• Mass - I've managed to reduce my mass a bit - I have gone from that scary number I had never seen before, back to about where I was in 2006 when I started trying to lose weight.  So...all told, I've really managed to gain weight and go back to baseline.
• Fitness - I've accomplished a 5 mile run and another rollerblade marathon - those are the goods.  In the not so good catagory - I didn't get 12 times in at the Y for at least 4 or 5 months last year.  Just 12 times...Oh, I can tell myself I have extenuating circumstances - I belong to two gyms, and I play outdoor sports.  But still, golf and softball take time, and are good activities, but they don't help me lose weight or achieve better fitness.  Climbing helps, but the 1-2 days a week i do that aren't going to cut it...  To sum up - I moderately improved my sedentary lifestyle.

 Hence - the soul searching.  What am I really trying to accomplish here, and what are my barriers?  Why am I not making progress.  My soul searching is revealing some answers I'm not too happy about, though I'm not ready to share....except - do I need or want this blog anymore. That is one answer I'm working out.

Running and walking along

My workplace is offering some incentives for us to become healthier.  I am partaking in a few.  One is 'have dental exam, enter to win gift card'.  Easy enough, and check mark.  Another is a team challenge.  I am part of an 11 person team that will be walking, working out, and slimming our way down.  You can pick 1,2, or 3 of the challenges, and I chose walk msot steps and work out most minutes.  This starts in March, but there is no reason not to get started early.  So...away I go to the gym. 

I have begun working on my running again.  If Miss Karin and Mr. Nate are game, Trev and I will join them for a 5 mile run this spring near their Hometown.  If I'm going to run 5 miles this spring, I had better kick it into gear.  So, to the gym I go tonight, with my little music player, to do week three of Podrunner Intervals and see just how out of running shape I am.  I did the workout last night too, but night two is always the challenge. 

After the Y I will go home and make a healthy dinner, and then see if I have the motivation to do one of the 8,000 projects that sits there staring at me each night.  Maybe I can set a timer and work on something for just 30 minutes?

Week 2...

New Year's resolutions are so easy when you are not doing them.  I've never really been a fan.  I make them, but I don't go all out to complete them... I mean, they are usually things one should be doing anyway, so why should I have to resolve to do them and start on a specific day?  (Especially eating more ice cream, worked on that one this weekend!)

Still, the premise of a fresh start when you've 'oopsed' on a goal is a good one. With that in mind, I made my resolutions to cook more at home, go to the Y mroe, eat more icecream (favorite resolution) etc.  I've been really enjoying to cooking, and have another set of recipes ready to go in my head, just have to get the groceries.  I am headed to the Y tonight, much easier when it's not sub-zero out.  And yes, I have had ice cream, eating a giant bowl of home-made mint chip this weekend to finish off the batch.  I think I'll try to make pomegranate sorbet next....

New Blog to satify a Resolution

Remember resolution: cook one new recipe a week?  I am well on my way to completing it, in that I've prepped for this week's recipe, and made one on new year's day!  (I know, too early to tell, right?)  But, to help me stick with it, and because some friends are helping too, there is a blog:

Go to 2010.52.3 to learn more and see the recipes that have been cooked!

The best laid plans...

...never survive the first encounter!

My menu (dinner meals): original - what happened
Monday: pasta and maranara - check!
Tuesday: tacos - did't happen, ended up going caving and eating two wonderful meals at a friend's parent's house (not out to eat, good!)
Wednesday: short ribs and egg noodles plus veg - we'll see, but as I have a 5:30 appointment 30 minutes from my house and these take 3 hours in the slow cooker....I'm thinking we'll adjust to leftovers or frozen pizza
Thursday: leftovers plus apps at New Year's parties - if we eat the leftovers tonight, we'll do the tacos tomorrow so we're full enough we don't gorge on apps
Friday: Chicken pizza - NEW RECIPE! - I have off, this should happen
Saturday: Pot roast & fixins' w/ homemade bread and homemade ice cream for dessert
Sunday: Spiced pork loin w/ peach sauce - NEW RECIPE! (also a starch and veg)

Friday - Sunday breakfast/lunch meals w/ be eggs and toast or french toast or pancakes. Generally make one meal at brunch and then have dinner.

I think I need to work on eating more fish and turkey and lean meat.... I have a fish cookbook...some of those 52 new recipes are going to be fishy!

Almost the end of the decade...

We are less than a week to the end of 2009, and the first decade of the 2000 era. Hrm. Makes a person think, doesn't it? In my own personal little history, it makes me reflect on the first almost three decades of my life. All doldrums aside....it's been a pretty good first 1/3 of my life.

But, as it's also almost new year's eve, I got to thinking about resolutions, and hopes for 2010. I do have a few resolutions:

1. Get Fit.
2. Landscape my front yard a bit more to my liking.
3. Eat healthier by cooking more at home, specifically try one brand new recipe a week for 52 weeks.
4. MAKE, and eat more ice cream.

Fit. I changed the title of this blog, and it's purpose sometime last year. I got the ball rolling, and then it rolled to a stop. There wasn't a wall or a hill that stopped it....more of a loss of momentum. So I need to get back on track. Specific goal is to go to the Y my 12 times a month 10 of 12 months this year. I'd say 12 of 12, but that is entitlement....W/ trips and such, I'm hoping to hit 10. So, guest passes, friends with Y passes...this is a call to action. Classes, lifting weights, training for races...let's hop to... I can do it alone, but I'd love company when I go.

Landscaping the front yard. I really, really hate that very small rock. It will take some time, some preplanning before spring, and some muscle to get rid of it, but I want to at least make a DENT this spring/summer/fall. Along with that I'd like to reclaim my grass from the weeds that are my lawn, and make sure my garden(s) flourish again this year!

Eating better...sigh. Part of getting fit, but hard to do with limited time. So, this year I will find the time to make dinner. I started this week. Today I made a menu for the week. Tomorrow I will go shopping for things I need for the rest of the week. This week's new recipe: Spiced pork loin w/ peaches. The rest of the week has recipes to use up what is in the cabinets and offset w/ some other things.

Last year I resolved to eat more ice cream. I failed miserably! I didn't eat more, I barely ate any! But, there is hope! For my birthday this year I have been given an ice cream maker as a present, and so far I have made two batches ice cream. This bodes well for next year's resolution... Make and Eat more ice cream!

ANd now, I have been up way to long, have to go to work tomorrow after a week off, it's time to go to bed.

Tis the Season!

Tis the season of Christmas, and I find myself with an over-abundance of holiday cheer. I very much desire a Christmas tree, decorations about the house, warm cookies and hot cocoa. Yes, today I officially began 'hot cocoa' season with a lovely cup whilst at work. Today is <20 F our, and tomorrow and Wednesday we are expecting snow. A true early winter blizzard and walloping, if one believed CNN, which I don't. After all, CNN has become a sensationalist news entertainment channel/website/organization anyway. I don't doubt some areas will have a nice blizzard though, and I certainly wouldn't mind the beginning of snow season.

Tomorrow, hopefully before the snow flies, the Window Guys will be coming to finish the install of our front window (read fixing a factory oops), and installing two others. I certainly hope they finish the front window tomorrow, because then I can pick out a christmas tree and make w/ the decorating!

I am trying to decide what has caused this plethora of good cheer and good will towards my fellow man (most of them, anway). I think part of it has to do with finishing my CIH exam, but also, I think I'm just due for a non-bah, humbug type of year.

Studying Marathon Complete

I have completed my studying marathon. My test has been taking, preliminary results show I have passed. Sunday I didn't know what to do! It was time to study, but there was no need! I could have read a book, but that was like studying - even a fun book...it was just to soon. (don't worry, I'm over that now).

I didn't clean, I didn't do work; I played a video game and watched football. Yup. I was a lazy bum. I did go to the climbing gym and climb the walls for a few hours. My hands and arms are now very sore. But work? Nope. I don't get another day like that until....Christmas break? Don't know. Felt weird, but good all the same.

This week is grind week at work, and I have to start pulling my house back into some semblance of order. We're hosting Thanksgiving, so must to have the house and foods ready to go! Gives me something to work towards...though at least I don't need to be staying at work an extra hour every day and studying all weekend anymore.

A marathon of a different sort

I haven't posted in a while. This is not because I didn't want to, but rather because most non-work moments for the last month have been occupied with studying.

Later this month - no, I will not tell you when, though you might already know, I will be undertaking a marathon of a different sort...the CIH exam. The CIH exam (Certified Industrial Hygienist) is like the PE exam for engineers....8 hour test, lots of material covered, you are never really ready for it...etc.

So, this last month I have studied and studied. I didn't study well the first part. In fact, my studying was poor. But I have buckled down. Tonight I took a practice exam and (though these mean nothing) squeeked by (aka passed). Does this mean I'll pass the 'real' exam? Heavens no! I have to get much better on some of my subjects. It did give me an idea on what i need to focus on for the remainder of my study period, however.

So, back I go to studying. 30 more minutes or so. Then to bed, then another day at work, then to studying again! I am at that point where I do not wish to study any more, but yet I have to. I'm to that point of my marathon where only my willpower is keeping me going. Soon, soon it will be over, but not yet. Right now, I have to stay the course.

I will be So Very Glad when this is over.

What comes next?

Softball season is over, so is (for the most part) golf season. I'm sure we'll hit the links yet this fall once or twice, but it won't be every week. The Rollerblade Marathon is over, and the leaves are starting to fall, making outdoor rollerblading dangerous. Soon we'll be able to blade in the metrodome, but not yet.

So - what now? I haven't been going to the Y with the frequency I desire. Tonight I can't as I have plans, but tomorrow is a new day (and a new month - eep!) and I will get back into that.

What are my goals?
1. I still need to work on the mass issues. I have plateaued, and not at the mass I desired to maintain constant at. The good news is I haven't regained that awful, horrid, high mass I started with. The bad news, I'm only halfway to where I want to be. To address this I have taken a look at my eating habits, and discovered alarming trends. I am working on fixing those. The problem is I don't want to. I like the convenience of eating out. I like the food I eat when I eat out. I like it so much I do it too often. This adds useless calories. Solution: Eat at home more! Succinct goal: Lose 10 lbs by end of calendar year.

2. I need to maintain my exercise routine now that I do not have my sports to fall back on as exercise points. I am not in any organized sports from now until...?? who knows. Solution: I have a Y pass, and there are plenty of things to do at the Y. Succinct goal: Go to the Y 3 times per week from now until the end of the calendar year.

3. I am feeling more stressed out than I have in a while. I try not to talk about it, but there it is. I have increased job responsibilities (this is a good thing, but causes more work). I have a professional certification I'm studying for in mid Nov., and my house is not in the order that I would like it to be. I also have a lot of 'outdoors' things I would love to get done, but thinking about them adds to the stress level because I don't know when I'll have time for them. Solution: Trickier, this solution, because there are things I'm not willing to do. In summer, for example, I wasn't willing to give up softball or golf. Also there are things I can't do. My job responsibilities are my job responsibilities. They are not 'too much', but I do need to learn to time manage better. There are also things I have to do. I have to study for this exam (and part of the stress is that I need to study more than I am). So, solutions include better time management, making lists and sticking to them, prioritizing, and making sure I do take "me" time, even if it feels like I don't have time for it. Succinct Goal: (again, tricky) Create a sustainable scheme for time management that I will stick to that will help lower stress levels and that includes 'me' time and maintain it through end of year. Secondary: Learn to say no and not feel guilty (or as guilty).

I think three goals is enough. More than enough or I'm going to make #3 worse, not better. So Erin - I will be joining you at that Y more often. Katie, Jenni, Jenny, Chris and anyone else who has to study or desires to do a group study session, or work on quite work or read a book - let's set some up! Meet at a coffee house, we all study and help each other stay on track. Don't feel bad if I say no to socializing, at least through my test date. If I feel working on studying or one of my other goals will help lower stress, I will say no to a big social event, but I will explain why. I also hope that after my exam (hopefully a successful exam) I will have less stress and will be better at prioritizing the things I have to do so I have more 'me and friend' time too.

Race Complete

I have finished my rollerblade marathon in one piece. This is a good thing, as the last time I did it I cracked a tailbone and injured both my elbows bloody! I finished in 2 minutes slower than the last time (4 years ago, and I was 4 years younger and skating 3 times a week!) 1:49:21. This is not too bad, but I can do better!

There is a rollerblade marathon in Baxter, MN June 12, 2010 that I am considering! Also the Dome marathon, but I think I'd do the half for that, b/c it's hard going in circles that long! Next year the NSIM is on the day after our golf banquet. Selfishly I'd like to move it back a week (the banquet) so I can skate the race. We'll have to see.

Today I'm not too sore, but I am sick. I don't know why, but i seem to have a very sore throat, and also some tummy ailments. I'll finish my work and then take some sick time....if I have time!

Wheels - rollin

Saturday is the big day! I have skated this last month enough that I know I will not die, but will not be perfectly happy, after the race. I have skated up to 18 miles at once (this past Sunday) and I made that, though my bones in my foot felt as though they were being smashed together and my ankle hurt. Typically, I'd like to get one skate at or longer than marathon distance before the race, but being that we're less than a week out, this isn't going to happen. Oh well. I did my best w/ my time limitations, and I'm actually skating it, not backing out, so I have that working for me. I'll do more training for the next one. If I said I'm not doing it based on training, I'd never do it cause there is no level of training that is 'enough' for me, really..

I'm in wave 4...which is what I qualified for based on my time from 2005 (yes, 4 years ago). I am no longer that fast, and I hope I don't tick anyone off as they fly past me :P I think it will take me close to 2 hours to finish, 15 minutes slower than 4 years ago, but not bad considering I have trained maybe...7 whole outdoor skates over 6 miles for this all summer! Still, I did 18 yesterday, and if I can go 18 I can go 26. I know that sounds strange, but trust me, it's true.

Later in the weekend we'll likely go climb farther north in the UP. Much fun will be had by all! And on Monday next, I'll be typing and complaining about how very sore and tired I am!

So, Saturday I will race, more against myself and a finish line than anyone else actually out on the course, and I'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I did it.

Time for a little R&R?

It's almost the end of summer. Truly? Yup! Fall ball starts Wednesday...and thanks to a rain delay, actually we'll play 2 days into fall! Coming up fast is also the State Fair - always a good time, and the Rollerblade Marathon - ooh, I really do need to skate more!

Also on the winds are friends blowing in from out of town, on their way to Someplace Else. Taking Friday off to hang out with just such a friend. A weekend of fun and play! Almost unheard of. Then next weekend is Labor Day, and I'm taking another day off to have a 4 day weekend then! Fun and play, fun and play!

Somewhere in all this fun and play I have to buckle down and get a few long skates in for the race. Also I have to really buckle down and start studying for the Big Exam I'm taking...sometime soon!

Oof.

Wheels - Rolling for 26.2

Who's with me!? With me on what? The Northshore Inline Marathon, of course - who wants to skate it with me? 26.2 miles of gorgeous Nothern Minnesota scenery, skating away from Two Harbors towards Duluth, finishing by the DECC and that Big Boat, mostly following the Grandma's Marathon route.

The price goes up after July 31st, and I'm going to register before then...but if I know I'm skating with people and they have an approximate time/wave, I'll make sure we try to get in the same wave.

Whee! Skating again! It's been far too long since I've rollerbladed with any frequency. I miss circles around the lakes, and the gateway trail, and I miss my roller-partner. Perhaps she will also train and plan to do this event with me???

5 minute break

OOF! Who knew cleaning to my old 'cleaning mix' of music could be such a good workout!? When I'm not scrub scrub scrubbing the floors or the counter or the sink or the bathroom or putting things away, I'm grooving to Blue Man Group, Cake, Beck, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, and a rash of techno! I'm thinking this is a better workout than I got at the Y earlier. Good thing too! I need to get back on the workout and eating right bandwagon. Naughty self found a side path that was far to interesting not to tred...involving eating out and vacation...but I will get back on! Starting with shaking my bottom and scrubbing that toilet - the one right there, that I'm staring at and not cleaning as I take my five minute break from cleaning.

Our new patio door is in and stained. Because everything was out of the way for that to be installed, I got a good mopping of the dining room floor just now. That is why I'm so darned sweaty! Feels good, though, and I'm looking forward to my nice refreshing beverage when I'm all done with this!

Climbing Up

This Thursday we leave to go to the Needles to do some rock climbing. We've been climbing 2 days a week or more in prep. I still don't think I'm ready. I've also been lifting weights every time I go to the gym. Sometimes that is all I do (probably tonight will all be weights again), and sometimes it's just abs or arms after a run. We have our list put together of what we need to bring....now we just have to pack.

I haven't camped - truely camped, in a while. This is going to be fun, but I know we'll forget something and have to get creative like using the marshmallow fork to pick up the pots from the fire, if we forget a hot pad.

We'll leave after work Thursday and arrive early Friday. We'll climb Fri,Sat, Sun and maybe some of Monday and then drive home the 10 hours or so back home, and then to work on Tuesday. A whirlwind vacation.

Lifting

The Y I attend has new weight machines, and they are very nice. I lifted in high school, took a recreational lifting after school program to learn the technique, but I haven't done much serious lifting since then. I'd do it now and again during college, and now, but with no serious frequency.

I really like these new weight machines though. They are Cybex brand, and grey/silver. I forget the model. They are more adjustable, and shiney (yes, this matters for some reason), and the free squat machine is set up such that I can't drop the weight forward on myself! I have now lifted on the new equipment twice in one week, and am enjoying getting back into lifting. Will this be a perminant addition to my workout routine? Don't know. But I do like their abs and hip ad/abductor machines as well as a good portion of the arm and leg torture - er- machines I've tried so far. I think I might try to keep up with it.

To Kick, or not To Kick

Tonight is Kickboxing (cardio variety) at the Y. I think it starts at 4:30. I told myself I'd go to the Y 3 times a week all month. So far, so good. Secondary goal was to 3 classes this month (w/ the theory that about 1 a week would be good). So, a good choice is to the Y with me for the 4:30 Kick class. The trouble, I'm tired, and it's nice out! Most of me wants a nap (this could be because I just had lunch). The rest of me wants to play outside, with my plants! So...I could compromise, go to the Y, but not to kick...run 2 miles or do 30 min on the eliptical stepper runner thing, and then get home and play outside! I could even go home and play outside, then go back and go swimming later....hrm - but I think I'll not do that option.


Likely I'll end up doing some form of the Y first, then home, then outside. The lawn needs mowing, the weeds need pulling, and I need a trip to Target and Menards too to get outside things. Maybe I need to consider waking up earlier (yuck) and going to the Y before work (yuck) so I can get home on some nights to do things around the house (yuck yuck getting up yuck). Maybe I shouldn't blog about excercise when I'm having the lunch tummy tireds!

Update on improving softball swing: My form is getting better, but I'm still hitting so-so. Last night (we won both games of the double header - yay) I had a good hit, a good but scooped hit, and a swinging bunt that I hit so hard it only went 2 feet before stopping. I made it to base OK. There was also a walk, and getting out once or twice. I scored a few runs. The weather was lovely. More batting cages need to happen!!

Improve Thy Mood

Have you ever had a day where you become crabby about something? What about when you are crabby about something that you can't really tell anyone why you are crabby (those involved, anyway) because your crabbiness will seem petty? What if, even if it IS petty, you have a right to be crabby? A catch-22 is it not?

Usually I give myself a stern lecture in the mirror about being crabby about things I can't change, even about being crabby in general. Being crabby changes nothing...and I try not to give into letting myself be crabby for the mood's sake, or letting a crabby behavior feel rewarding. (this is the path to the dark side, children)

Today, however, I've have given myself a time limit. I'm allowed to be crabby until tomorrow morning at 8AM. Yup, 8AM - but only for this specific reason (sorry I'm being cryptic, but no I will not write it here) and not at anyone or anything else. Then, I have to take a deep breath and let it go. I'll find a mirror if required. Because I really can't do anything, and in fact, that would make it worse.

It doesn't help that I was sick all last night and have the worst headache and backache right now. I think that is exacerbating the issue. Note to self, "chin up."

Sleep

Sometimes, I push myself to hard. "Sometimes?" Ok, much of the time. This weekend the last few months caught up with me. I had zero energy. Saturday I managed to sleep til noon, go on a few errands, feel like crap, take a 3 hour nap in the afternoon, watch a movie,and then go to bed. Sunday, I felt a bit better...and we managed to make it to the Y to go swimming for about 1/2 of 1 mile. I also managed to do laundry and a few other household chores, but nothing like what I had wanted to accomplish....

Perhaps I need to be more realistic in what I can accomplish in one day? Nah! That would mean giving up the things I want to do so I can finish all the things I need to do. One has to have some fun. This weekend is 'shower' weekend with a baby shower one day and a bridal shower the other. So far - I have made my goal of going to the Y 3 days a week this month. Only one week in, but it's nice to have made the goal the first week. This week I'll try to go Tuesd/Thurs/one day this weekend.. I don't know if I'll go tonight - the pool felt so good yesterday. I think it will depend on timeing. I'm going to go to the batting cages after work and try to improve my softball swing.

Other things I should do this week:

• Weed the garden(s)
• Clean the office
• make bread
• grocery shop
• prepare for the two showers
• train the birds
• the Y (3X)
• Climb (1-2X)
• sleep - goal is 7 hrs per night!

Oh, and study! I need to study and I need to finish my app for my certification exam! Crap, almost forgot that one.