…A NEW CAR!!!!!

Why is it when I think of my actions in the last two to three days, I am reminded of Wheel of Fortune? I wish that were the case, and the car I’m thinking about was free. It would be such an easier decision then.

It is noon on Monday. Today is the day I decide if I buy the car I ‘sort of bought’ on Saturday(pictured here). To explain: Saturday Katie and I went to the Saturn dealership to get the oil changed in our cars. We were not first in line. So we turned over our keys and went out onto the lot to take a peak at the used cars. Out came the salesman. I got talking with him about what I was looking for in a “new car”. New to me, you understand, not necessarily a brand new with no miles on it. So, there I was, explaining what I wanted and out from his mouth comes the ‘perfect’ solution. The 2005 Vue with all these options and this great pricing…So I take one for a test drive and I like it and I have my old car appraised for trade in and do some preliminary financing and tell them I’m definitely interested. They will hold the car through Monday at the end of business for me. At this point I still don’t know if I want the car for sure. I mean, I love the car, but do I need a new car right this minute? Wouldn’t it be easier to wait until I’m out of grad school to have a car payment? Shouldn’t I start saving for a house and not worry about a new car on top of everything else? I called the insurance people. The new car would cost a grand total of 17 dollars more per 6 months. That is not the issue. Mom and Dad are leery, but they say this is ultimately my decision. It would be so much easier on me if they just said yes or no, or if they gave me a really good reason to say yes or no. They brought up some things I didn’t think about, such: What if I don’t find a job right away? What about the fact that I don’t have a garage? Do I really want to be spending that money on a car payment, or would I rather use it for something else? The thing is, my car has about 2 years left in it…maybe more. I could finish school, get a job, and then buy a car. A new 2006 or 2007 car, or even buy a hybrid car. Do I really need to do this now?

It’s now 1:22 on Monday. I’ve talked with Saturn, they are applying for the car loan for me. It’s not necessary that I buy the car yet; I’m trying to determine my financing. What will my payments be? In the interim, I was talking with Cliff and he told me Missy is looking for a new car, and what will I sell mine for? I tell him blue book, and then tell him about my random electrical gremlin, and give him a price. He calls Missy. He calls me back. They will look at it tonight at 6PM. What they will give me is more than trade in value. Mom is looking for the Title for my current car. It’s still not a for sure yes. If I do sell it to Missy rather than trade it the amount of my down payment goes up. The Saturn Financier knows that I may do the trade in, or I may do simply cash down. He’s pricing both options for me. I still don’t know if I am ready for this. I know I can afford it, but is that the point? I want it, but is that the point?

Why is this so hard for me? I should be able to make the decision. Saturday night I was so gung-ho. Sunday I talked with Mom and Dad and had some doubts thrown in. I talked with my friends some more and was about 50/50. Today I have to make the decision. Now I know my old car could help a friend who needs a vehicle, and I could still have my new car. I had anxiety dreams last night. I feel like this is going too fast. I have til 9PM today. I can still say no. I can still keep the Super Saturn until she dies. Still, the new car is essentially half off, and will most likely never be this good of a deal again. So much to think about, and I don’t have so long. I am tempted to say, put it back out on the lot. I’ll think about it a bit more, and call a credit union or two. If it sells before I call you back, it was not meant to be. Is that the answer, or is that just hedging the decision.

Here I thought I had gotten better at being assertive, and at decision-making. If this is what I’m like today, how bad was I in the past? How will I be at buying a house? In this case I even know the car I want. It’s not like I am trying to decide whether or not to buy and what to buy. The longer I think, the more I think I should wait. But will I wait or take the plunge? Who knows. I don’t. I hope to by 9PM tonight.

I am going to go do homework and encourage a 7^th grader. That is from 3-5:30…but in reality from 2:30 to 6 (with drive time). At 6 I’ll have Cliff and Missy and I take my car for a test drive. They can decide if they like it. At 6:45 I’ll be headed to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. So by 6:45 I have to call Saturn back and say yes or no. I really should decide before I let Missy drive my car. If she likes it, and then I say…but I’m not selling, that would be cruel (though it would answer the question about if she likes Saturn’s…) I have homework to do, I should not be doing this. I really need to not get my oil changed at the Saturn dealership. See what happens when you are not first in line???