On Making Changes…
Often times life throws changes at you. We all know this. We all respond to it differently. Some people throw themselves at each thing that comes along, forgetting the tasks that came before like so much litter on a trail. Some people freeze up with the thought of so many changes and so many decisions. Some people craft elaborate action plans, make lists, and prioritize. I fall into this latter category.
Why is the way I adjust to change important? Because in the last 6 months my life has thrown a lot of changes at me, and the next six months promises many, many more. The next 2 – 5 years will change my life utterly. Sound ominous? It could be. It could also be extremely valuable, fun, exciting, etc. I don’t wish to pontificate, but with the beginning of the New Year it is human nature, almost, to look towards the upcoming changes.
Let’s review: In the last 6 months I’ve finished grad school, started a new job, begun looking for a house to buy, gotten financing in order for said house, and had LASIK surgery to improve my eyesight (which went very well though I’m still adjusting.) At work alone there have been many changes. Without going into unnecessary detail, since I’ve started, my department has gained one employee and had 2 retire. One supervisor took a different job, and recently two more employees have switched to different jobs. One of the two retirees has come back part time as a contractor. That’s +1.5 and -5 in 6 months. Each time I think I have my feet under me in terms of who does what and what my responsibilities are, they change because of changing personnel. I love my job, but I’d like to make everyone promise to stay where they are for 6 months so I can get my feet under me. I know it won’t happen though as things are rather fluid at work.
Let’s project: In the next 6 months I will buy a house, move into said house, have to get home insurance, have to change my state of residency, have to change my car insurance, get a new driver’s license go through a bunch of different trainings to learn more about my job, pick up (and lose) job responsibilities, go on vacation to Canada, finish adjusting to my new eyesight (believe me, it is an adjustment), buy a motorcycle, begin remodel projects on new house, make a garden at new house, and possibly teach a class at the U (just one lecture as a guest speaker).
Make a list and check it twice: I’ve always been a list person. Making a list abd being able to check things off of it makes me a very happy person. I’m also a bit of a paradox. I am a major procrastinator, but I also like to do things WAY ahead of time. How do I do both? Why, I procrastinate on the smaller things and plan out the larger things. Or maybe it’s I procrastinate on the things I don’t want to do and plan out the fun things, like buying a house. As the list of changes infront and ahead of me grows, I do the things that I can do now and make lists on the others. I also create action plans – what do I have to do to get x done. Lately, so much has been going on I have to prioritize. I am almost more busy that I was in school, and I don’t even have real homework!
Life changes utterly: I feel as though I am finally growing up. In light of all of the above, I don’t feel like making resolutions this year…save one. I will complete the half marathon (running) and the training program I just signed up for. I have enough changes going on in my life otherwise, I need no other resolutions. I think, 2-5 years from now, I may not even recognize my life…I will still have the friends, the family, the job, if the changes keep coming as fast as they are now, whew! I’ll still be me, just in a completely different situation, and I’ve decided that’s a good thing, as long as I’m planning on it.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Major Life Change:
A major part of my life will change on Friday. For the first time since I was in second grade, and perhaps even before, I will be able to see without glasses. I will be having LASIK on Friday AM. I’m really really excited, but also a bit scared. After all, they are my eyeballs. I only have one set, and there are no returns or exchanges on this sort of thing. Still, the notion of waking up and being able to see without reaching for glasses or putting in my contacts has been a dream of mine for at least 5 years. I knew I was a good candidate for LASIK, just didn’t have the money. My reward for working 6 months (exactly today) at a full time job is a refurbished set of eyes.
So, if I see you this weekend, it will be truly seeing with my own eyes for the first time in years. Wish me luck, and if you can, send a bit of courage my way!
A major part of my life will change on Friday. For the first time since I was in second grade, and perhaps even before, I will be able to see without glasses. I will be having LASIK on Friday AM. I’m really really excited, but also a bit scared. After all, they are my eyeballs. I only have one set, and there are no returns or exchanges on this sort of thing. Still, the notion of waking up and being able to see without reaching for glasses or putting in my contacts has been a dream of mine for at least 5 years. I knew I was a good candidate for LASIK, just didn’t have the money. My reward for working 6 months (exactly today) at a full time job is a refurbished set of eyes.
So, if I see you this weekend, it will be truly seeing with my own eyes for the first time in years. Wish me luck, and if you can, send a bit of courage my way!
Friday, January 12, 2007
2007 Off and Running
It's 2007! How crazy is that?! Yes, I realize that 2007 follows directly on the heels of 2006, but it's the fact that we've made it this far. I remember back in grade school thinking fondly of how the world would be 'different' when it was 2000. Changing from 19XX to 20XX was an abstract concept at the time. Now we are '07. 7 years past that magical year from my past. Did anything particularly special happen in 2000? Not really. By the time 1999 had rolled around, the aura of mystique around the concept of a year 2000 had dissipated, left only with some computer folks wondering if their old equipment would handle the century/millennium change and a few crazies touting the end of the world. Seven years later, the world has not yet ended and computers are doing quite well.
Now that it is 2007, I look back on the year 2006 and realize how many significant events in my life happened. It was also a year of lifestyle changes. 2006 was the year I finally met and dated a man for longer than 1 month of 'serious' dating. 2006 was the first year I fell in love. 2006 was the first year that I could look ahead to the rest of my life, and not see school in it. It was the year I went to my field's national conference to present my research work. It was the last year I will be a full time student (in the foreseeable future), it was the year I received my Master's. It was the year I began my first full time job, that I didn't plan on leaving or going back to part time when school started...a job that I may have in some iteration for the next 40 years. And it was the year where I began to plan what the 'rest of my life' might look like.
There were ups and there were downs, and I would have to sit here awhile to come up with a good list. I am happy to say, however, that there were more ups that downs. Similar to the girl scout adage, I've met new friends, but kept the old...with a few unfortunate exceptions throughout the last few years, and learned some interesting life lessons in the process.
I've learned to be who I am. I am not who everyone wants me to be, and that's OK.
I've learned to let others be who they are, it is not my job to change them.
I've learned that when two peoples' paths go in different directions, even if they have walked side by side for many years, that it is better to point your feet down your own path and continue solo, remembering fondly the time you spent sharing the path. It's sad when the paths diverge, but new paths may merge with yours just around the corner.
I've learned that asking the 'stupid question' is many times the right thing to do...after all, if I have the question, someone else might too.
And I've learned that there is a time and a place to listen, and to ask questions, and to speak - though I'm still working on the implementation of this.
I've learned what love is. I love my family and always have and always will, but it is different - the love that grows from childhood - from the love that develops for another as an adult. It is, and is not, as easy as the storybooks say.
I've learned the value of quiet, of loud, of boisterous, and of calm.
I've learned to assess the situation before I get angry, and to look at things from more than the 'front' angle. There is often more to a situation, and often less. Some things are not worth my anger, or my joy. Some things just are.
I've learned not to fear the unknown, though a well placed whimper is not out of the question.
But most of all, I've learned to look fondly behind me and expectantly ahead of me as the events of 2007 begin to unfold.
I think it will be a good year. I plan to buy a house. I plan to be in the same job all year long. I plan to go visit my brother in Calgary, Alberta, Canada in February. I plan to be active and take a more active roll in my health this year. I plan to be positive. I plan to be suprised (oxymoron, I know). I plan to enjoy myself, and I plan on having fun with family and friends.
It's 2007! How crazy is that?! Yes, I realize that 2007 follows directly on the heels of 2006, but it's the fact that we've made it this far. I remember back in grade school thinking fondly of how the world would be 'different' when it was 2000. Changing from 19XX to 20XX was an abstract concept at the time. Now we are '07. 7 years past that magical year from my past. Did anything particularly special happen in 2000? Not really. By the time 1999 had rolled around, the aura of mystique around the concept of a year 2000 had dissipated, left only with some computer folks wondering if their old equipment would handle the century/millennium change and a few crazies touting the end of the world. Seven years later, the world has not yet ended and computers are doing quite well.
Now that it is 2007, I look back on the year 2006 and realize how many significant events in my life happened. It was also a year of lifestyle changes. 2006 was the year I finally met and dated a man for longer than 1 month of 'serious' dating. 2006 was the first year I fell in love. 2006 was the first year that I could look ahead to the rest of my life, and not see school in it. It was the year I went to my field's national conference to present my research work. It was the last year I will be a full time student (in the foreseeable future), it was the year I received my Master's. It was the year I began my first full time job, that I didn't plan on leaving or going back to part time when school started...a job that I may have in some iteration for the next 40 years. And it was the year where I began to plan what the 'rest of my life' might look like.
There were ups and there were downs, and I would have to sit here awhile to come up with a good list. I am happy to say, however, that there were more ups that downs. Similar to the girl scout adage, I've met new friends, but kept the old...with a few unfortunate exceptions throughout the last few years, and learned some interesting life lessons in the process.
I've learned to be who I am. I am not who everyone wants me to be, and that's OK.
I've learned to let others be who they are, it is not my job to change them.
I've learned that when two peoples' paths go in different directions, even if they have walked side by side for many years, that it is better to point your feet down your own path and continue solo, remembering fondly the time you spent sharing the path. It's sad when the paths diverge, but new paths may merge with yours just around the corner.
I've learned that asking the 'stupid question' is many times the right thing to do...after all, if I have the question, someone else might too.
And I've learned that there is a time and a place to listen, and to ask questions, and to speak - though I'm still working on the implementation of this.
I've learned what love is. I love my family and always have and always will, but it is different - the love that grows from childhood - from the love that develops for another as an adult. It is, and is not, as easy as the storybooks say.
I've learned the value of quiet, of loud, of boisterous, and of calm.
I've learned to assess the situation before I get angry, and to look at things from more than the 'front' angle. There is often more to a situation, and often less. Some things are not worth my anger, or my joy. Some things just are.
I've learned not to fear the unknown, though a well placed whimper is not out of the question.
But most of all, I've learned to look fondly behind me and expectantly ahead of me as the events of 2007 begin to unfold.
I think it will be a good year. I plan to buy a house. I plan to be in the same job all year long. I plan to go visit my brother in Calgary, Alberta, Canada in February. I plan to be active and take a more active roll in my health this year. I plan to be positive. I plan to be suprised (oxymoron, I know). I plan to enjoy myself, and I plan on having fun with family and friends.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Happy New Year.
Yes, I know it is not for a few days. Still, one should prepare for these things. I plan on taking tomorrow off of work, sleeping in, and then driving to WI for my cousin's wedding (the 30th). The gift opening is the 31st, and I have no idea how I'll count down the seconds to a new day.
I do desire to do the Polar Bear Plunge this year. I know, I'm crazy. Trevor said he would too, though, and it's the first time I'll have someone to be crazy with me.
Yes, I know it is not for a few days. Still, one should prepare for these things. I plan on taking tomorrow off of work, sleeping in, and then driving to WI for my cousin's wedding (the 30th). The gift opening is the 31st, and I have no idea how I'll count down the seconds to a new day.
I do desire to do the Polar Bear Plunge this year. I know, I'm crazy. Trevor said he would too, though, and it's the first time I'll have someone to be crazy with me.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Friday, December 08, 2006
Bummed.
I hate it when I think something will happen, and then it doesn't, and then I'm disappointed. Even when the something wasn't concrete. Now I'm all depressed and I can't figure out if I have the right to be cranky or not. Maybe I was supposed to so something else, but should I have had to? I don't know. After all, there was nothing concrete. It's like being depressed and cranky cause the weatherman said it might snow and then it doesn't.
I need to learn not to get my hopes up. I need to remember my mantra of, don't expect it to happen and you won't be disappointed. Be happy when it does happen, but don't count on it.
I'm going to go back to working...lot to do today, and try to force myself to be in a better frame of mind. Maybe if I just forget it and think positive thoughts I'll go back to being in a good mood?
I'm hungry.
I hate it when I think something will happen, and then it doesn't, and then I'm disappointed. Even when the something wasn't concrete. Now I'm all depressed and I can't figure out if I have the right to be cranky or not. Maybe I was supposed to so something else, but should I have had to? I don't know. After all, there was nothing concrete. It's like being depressed and cranky cause the weatherman said it might snow and then it doesn't.
I need to learn not to get my hopes up. I need to remember my mantra of, don't expect it to happen and you won't be disappointed. Be happy when it does happen, but don't count on it.
I'm going to go back to working...lot to do today, and try to force myself to be in a better frame of mind. Maybe if I just forget it and think positive thoughts I'll go back to being in a good mood?
I'm hungry.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
New Look
I got bored with the old look of this blog. I thought a new look might help me renew my posting consistancy.
Also, I think I'm fighting an infection. So far today I have drank 1.5 gallons of water, and my goal is 2 gallons before I leave work in less than 2 hrs. I'm hoping that if I drown said infection, I'll not get sick(er), and will not have to take antibiotics. I do not want to be sick for the Holiday, I have not been sick now in a very long time, and I'm liking this. Thus, I'll continue to drown my body in water. Of course, this has necessitate many, many, many trips to the ladies today. One every 15 minutes is not really an exageration. I try to stretch that to once/30 mintues, but...eep. Such is the cost of staying healthy, I guess.
I got bored with the old look of this blog. I thought a new look might help me renew my posting consistancy.
Also, I think I'm fighting an infection. So far today I have drank 1.5 gallons of water, and my goal is 2 gallons before I leave work in less than 2 hrs. I'm hoping that if I drown said infection, I'll not get sick(er), and will not have to take antibiotics. I do not want to be sick for the Holiday, I have not been sick now in a very long time, and I'm liking this. Thus, I'll continue to drown my body in water. Of course, this has necessitate many, many, many trips to the ladies today. One every 15 minutes is not really an exageration. I try to stretch that to once/30 mintues, but...eep. Such is the cost of staying healthy, I guess.
Monday, November 20, 2006
1000+ miles in one weekend.
I can’t believe how tired I am today. Yet here I sit, taking my lunch break. I have been plugging away at work, though I got in a little later than I usually do. I have tonight’s plans all squared away, dinner, a couple of TV shows (House and Jericho from last week, recorded), and the book I’m going to pick up at the library tonight. I know the meal and recreation plan for tomorrow, and have a general idea about Wednesday. Thursday is Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday of the year. I have a 4 day weekend, and am able to sleep in on Thursday!!! I can’t wait.
This weekend I drove. Let me restate that, this weekend I rode along with Trevor as he drove to MO and we dropped his sister and niece off at their home. We left Saturday morning at 10:30 AM, drove the 500ish miles, spent the night, woke up Sunday and went to a few wineries and then drove the 500ish miles back to the cities. When we returned, we hung out with some of Trevor’s friends and I got to bed at midnightish.
This morning it was back to work. It was extremely hard to drag myself out of my warm, dark bed and into the harsh, cold light of dawn as I drove to work, but I did. I have the fact that this is a 3 days week to motivate me. I’ll be into work even earlier Tuesday, and at an insane hour on Wednesday so I can leave and go enjoy the 60 degree day. Golf or the Zoo, not sure which I’ll do, but I’m sure I’m going to have fun.
Happy Thanksgiving, and see some of you in GB
I can’t believe how tired I am today. Yet here I sit, taking my lunch break. I have been plugging away at work, though I got in a little later than I usually do. I have tonight’s plans all squared away, dinner, a couple of TV shows (House and Jericho from last week, recorded), and the book I’m going to pick up at the library tonight. I know the meal and recreation plan for tomorrow, and have a general idea about Wednesday. Thursday is Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday of the year. I have a 4 day weekend, and am able to sleep in on Thursday!!! I can’t wait.
This weekend I drove. Let me restate that, this weekend I rode along with Trevor as he drove to MO and we dropped his sister and niece off at their home. We left Saturday morning at 10:30 AM, drove the 500ish miles, spent the night, woke up Sunday and went to a few wineries and then drove the 500ish miles back to the cities. When we returned, we hung out with some of Trevor’s friends and I got to bed at midnightish.
This morning it was back to work. It was extremely hard to drag myself out of my warm, dark bed and into the harsh, cold light of dawn as I drove to work, but I did. I have the fact that this is a 3 days week to motivate me. I’ll be into work even earlier Tuesday, and at an insane hour on Wednesday so I can leave and go enjoy the 60 degree day. Golf or the Zoo, not sure which I’ll do, but I’m sure I’m going to have fun.
Happy Thanksgiving, and see some of you in GB
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Turkeys on the Horizon
It's been a while since I blogged. It can't be helped. In all honesty it could have, but I spend enough time in front of the computer at work that I don't usually feel like blogging when I come home. That is part of the reason. Another part of the reason for not blogging is: I'll feel this great urge to blog, sit down at the computer, and...nothing. It's like the keyboard has become a sieve and my creativity and thoughts drain away. I don't want to write whats happened. A lot has. Most of it mundane. Some of it crazy, some scary, some wonderful. Most of you probably know most of it. Some of it is so personal I'm not sharing (even with myself sometimes, which is scarier yet). Some of it, the rest of it, is that stuff that I want to write about and then sit here and nothing happens. Again, here I go. An entire paragraph on nothing but my inability to write down anything interesting to read.
I'm not going to try to sum up the entire last month of my life here in this one entry. Suffice it to say, I'm alive, I'm mostly happy, and I'm about this " " close to moving out of my apartment in disgust. My downstairs neighbor seemed pretty cool when he moved in back at the beginning of the year. Yeah, he smoked, but he promised to do so only outside. The first day FIRST DAY he moved in, he smoked inside. I called him on it, and he apologized in what I felt was a sincere manner, saying he thought that if he snuck a smoke in the bathroom, noone would be the wiser. I told him, no, his fan vents to our bathroom and really, I am hypersensitive to smoke, I can tell when someone is smoking within 100 yards of me. The second and third – 100 times were mostly coming from outside though open windows, or whatever, I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve smelled smoke in the apartment, in the hallway, outside his door, in the basement, etc. Still, he’s a nice guy. Then his son moved in. He plays his guitar, the same riff, over and over and over and over and over – or used to. Really, annoying but not such a huge problem and it was never loud. He’s a nice guy too. Now his daughter and her kid(s??) and possibly her boyfriend/husband?? are living there too. The daughter and some male scream at each other practically every day. The “F you!’ ‘F-you!” slaming door kind of domestic dispute. I had finally told the landlord, and he talked to them; hopefully that gets better. The smoking in the house seems to be getting worse, though. Maybe I’m psycho, maybe their burning babyt food, but in the few hours I’ve been working at home and now working on this post, I’ve smelled it for an hour, and now my eyes are burning and itchy and I’ve got some hives. Each time it happens it makes me want to move. I’m beginning to think it’s not cigarettes they are smoking….
I’ve started looking at houses. I’ve found a few I really like. I’m waiting on them though, I really need two or three more months’ salary before I’ll feel comfortable with the amount I’m going to put down and the amount I’ll have in savings. Still, if the right house at the right price comes along, I’m going to jump on it. I told my landlord I’d be here until Spring, early summer, but I’m not sure now. I’d hate a winter move, and I’d like to stay here though at least February, but each bloody time I have to deal with this it makes me want a place of my own that much more.
Next week is the annual eat to much and watch football all afternoon holiday. My favorite of the year, holiday wise. It's all about food and family, and hasn't been taken over by Comercial America as much as some of the others. I'll try to be better at posting, maybe even once a week :P I'll try to stop bitching about things I don't have much control over - other than to 'tattle' to my landlord (which I did earlier today), and I'll try to love all creatures, even the mice...(who by the way have not yet moved back into their winter hotel, as far as I can tell. Maybe the smoking is keeping them away? I sure wouldn't want to winter over in a carbon monoxide and poison infested environment.)
It's been a while since I blogged. It can't be helped. In all honesty it could have, but I spend enough time in front of the computer at work that I don't usually feel like blogging when I come home. That is part of the reason. Another part of the reason for not blogging is: I'll feel this great urge to blog, sit down at the computer, and...nothing. It's like the keyboard has become a sieve and my creativity and thoughts drain away. I don't want to write whats happened. A lot has. Most of it mundane. Some of it crazy, some scary, some wonderful. Most of you probably know most of it. Some of it is so personal I'm not sharing (even with myself sometimes, which is scarier yet). Some of it, the rest of it, is that stuff that I want to write about and then sit here and nothing happens. Again, here I go. An entire paragraph on nothing but my inability to write down anything interesting to read.
I'm not going to try to sum up the entire last month of my life here in this one entry. Suffice it to say, I'm alive, I'm mostly happy, and I'm about this " " close to moving out of my apartment in disgust. My downstairs neighbor seemed pretty cool when he moved in back at the beginning of the year. Yeah, he smoked, but he promised to do so only outside. The first day FIRST DAY he moved in, he smoked inside. I called him on it, and he apologized in what I felt was a sincere manner, saying he thought that if he snuck a smoke in the bathroom, noone would be the wiser. I told him, no, his fan vents to our bathroom and really, I am hypersensitive to smoke, I can tell when someone is smoking within 100 yards of me. The second and third – 100 times were mostly coming from outside though open windows, or whatever, I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve smelled smoke in the apartment, in the hallway, outside his door, in the basement, etc. Still, he’s a nice guy. Then his son moved in. He plays his guitar, the same riff, over and over and over and over and over – or used to. Really, annoying but not such a huge problem and it was never loud. He’s a nice guy too. Now his daughter and her kid(s??) and possibly her boyfriend/husband?? are living there too. The daughter and some male scream at each other practically every day. The “F you!’ ‘F-you!” slaming door kind of domestic dispute. I had finally told the landlord, and he talked to them; hopefully that gets better. The smoking in the house seems to be getting worse, though. Maybe I’m psycho, maybe their burning babyt food, but in the few hours I’ve been working at home and now working on this post, I’ve smelled it for an hour, and now my eyes are burning and itchy and I’ve got some hives. Each time it happens it makes me want to move. I’m beginning to think it’s not cigarettes they are smoking….
I’ve started looking at houses. I’ve found a few I really like. I’m waiting on them though, I really need two or three more months’ salary before I’ll feel comfortable with the amount I’m going to put down and the amount I’ll have in savings. Still, if the right house at the right price comes along, I’m going to jump on it. I told my landlord I’d be here until Spring, early summer, but I’m not sure now. I’d hate a winter move, and I’d like to stay here though at least February, but each bloody time I have to deal with this it makes me want a place of my own that much more.
Next week is the annual eat to much and watch football all afternoon holiday. My favorite of the year, holiday wise. It's all about food and family, and hasn't been taken over by Comercial America as much as some of the others. I'll try to be better at posting, maybe even once a week :P I'll try to stop bitching about things I don't have much control over - other than to 'tattle' to my landlord (which I did earlier today), and I'll try to love all creatures, even the mice...(who by the way have not yet moved back into their winter hotel, as far as I can tell. Maybe the smoking is keeping them away? I sure wouldn't want to winter over in a carbon monoxide and poison infested environment.)
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Dream Adventures
Last night I spent time doing something I haven’t done in a while; chillin with Katie, waching InuYasha, drinking spiked hot cocoa, and relaxing. One, it’s cold out now, so a hot cocoa treat now and again is so very nice. Two, it’s been a while since I had the time to sit and watch anime. I need to organize myself better (or maybe my life, as biologically my fingers and toes are all exactly where they are supposed to be). Three, I needed a night off. I should have been cleaning up my messes in the house, cleaning the bathroom, dusting, and preparing a load of laundry to have clean stuff for my trip this weekend. I didn’t want to do any of that. I rested, relaxed, gossiped and watched, and then I went to bed early.
This morning my brain tricked me into sleeping in. It’s not my fault. I woke up, looked at the clock and my brain whispered, “you have work you should do at home, so you are not distracted by things in the office.” I thought back at it, “ok, that sounds like a good plan, I’ll sleep a little longer, get up, make tea, and work.” And back to sleep I went. I dreamed.
I dreamt that in downtown Minneapolis there was a narrow, tall door covered with Egyptian Hieroglyphs. It was painted bright red, and in a wall of dark grey stone. Not everyone could see it, or if they could, they paid it no mind – it was like they thought it was a decorative part of the wall rather than a door. I knew however, that it opened, and there were stairs that went down into the catacombs. I knew the way to open the door was to look at it and imagine it as not being there. Imagine, like the Road Runner in all the Warner Brothers cartoons, that I could go through the door even though it was solid. So with that thought in mind, I went to the seam, and pushed. The doors opened, and down I went. Down the stairs was a large room, lit by lights from the ceiling that I couldn’t see – natural light perhaps? It was bright, warm, yellow light. Through the walls by the stairs and through parts of the upper walls I saw flexible piping (like that which connects the back of one’s dryer to the outside) and copper piping, as though the city’s sewer and piping systems ran though the catacombs. I commented on them to those I was with – suddenly Erin and Katie had appeared. We walked further into the room, wondering how no one knew this place was there. I turned to the wall directly to the left of the bottom of the stairs, and there was the English Language Alphabet laid out on tiles that moved up and down. Some tiles had one letter, some two. I briefly wondered how the English letters ended up in a catacomb full of hieroglyphs, but knew that they were the key to opening the next door, which was down a few more stairs and on my left as I faced the letters. I knew the letters had to be moved in the order of the alphabet, and if there were two letters on a tile, it had to be moved twice, in order. So an A-B tile would go up, then down, but an A-D tile should not be touched. I also knew (somehow) that there was a ratio between the two move tiles and the one move tiles. I began the puzzle (there were a lot of tiles to choose from, and in no particular order) to make the alphabet so I could open the door and go to the next room. Erin was helping me, we were on K, L, M and she was moving them, when I began to wake up. I had just determined the solution for the rest of the tiles when I was snatched from sleep.
Upon looking at the clock, my brain reminded me that I couldn’t work from home because my computer for work was at work, and I had really better get a move on to make it to work. The only thing I can think of to relate this dream to what happened yesterday is seeing a hieroglyph from Egypt showing a pictograph of a man with a withered leg. I was in a microorganism lecture, and the instructor was discussing polio, it’s long history, and how people related to it even when they didn’t know about micro-organisms and their functions. My hours of InuYasha may have added the adventure element to the dream. I was grumpy when I woke up though, I wanted to see what was in that next room. Perhaps tonight.
Last night I spent time doing something I haven’t done in a while; chillin with Katie, waching InuYasha, drinking spiked hot cocoa, and relaxing. One, it’s cold out now, so a hot cocoa treat now and again is so very nice. Two, it’s been a while since I had the time to sit and watch anime. I need to organize myself better (or maybe my life, as biologically my fingers and toes are all exactly where they are supposed to be). Three, I needed a night off. I should have been cleaning up my messes in the house, cleaning the bathroom, dusting, and preparing a load of laundry to have clean stuff for my trip this weekend. I didn’t want to do any of that. I rested, relaxed, gossiped and watched, and then I went to bed early.
This morning my brain tricked me into sleeping in. It’s not my fault. I woke up, looked at the clock and my brain whispered, “you have work you should do at home, so you are not distracted by things in the office.” I thought back at it, “ok, that sounds like a good plan, I’ll sleep a little longer, get up, make tea, and work.” And back to sleep I went. I dreamed.
I dreamt that in downtown Minneapolis there was a narrow, tall door covered with Egyptian Hieroglyphs. It was painted bright red, and in a wall of dark grey stone. Not everyone could see it, or if they could, they paid it no mind – it was like they thought it was a decorative part of the wall rather than a door. I knew however, that it opened, and there were stairs that went down into the catacombs. I knew the way to open the door was to look at it and imagine it as not being there. Imagine, like the Road Runner in all the Warner Brothers cartoons, that I could go through the door even though it was solid. So with that thought in mind, I went to the seam, and pushed. The doors opened, and down I went. Down the stairs was a large room, lit by lights from the ceiling that I couldn’t see – natural light perhaps? It was bright, warm, yellow light. Through the walls by the stairs and through parts of the upper walls I saw flexible piping (like that which connects the back of one’s dryer to the outside) and copper piping, as though the city’s sewer and piping systems ran though the catacombs. I commented on them to those I was with – suddenly Erin and Katie had appeared. We walked further into the room, wondering how no one knew this place was there. I turned to the wall directly to the left of the bottom of the stairs, and there was the English Language Alphabet laid out on tiles that moved up and down. Some tiles had one letter, some two. I briefly wondered how the English letters ended up in a catacomb full of hieroglyphs, but knew that they were the key to opening the next door, which was down a few more stairs and on my left as I faced the letters. I knew the letters had to be moved in the order of the alphabet, and if there were two letters on a tile, it had to be moved twice, in order. So an A-B tile would go up, then down, but an A-D tile should not be touched. I also knew (somehow) that there was a ratio between the two move tiles and the one move tiles. I began the puzzle (there were a lot of tiles to choose from, and in no particular order) to make the alphabet so I could open the door and go to the next room. Erin was helping me, we were on K, L, M and she was moving them, when I began to wake up. I had just determined the solution for the rest of the tiles when I was snatched from sleep.
Upon looking at the clock, my brain reminded me that I couldn’t work from home because my computer for work was at work, and I had really better get a move on to make it to work. The only thing I can think of to relate this dream to what happened yesterday is seeing a hieroglyph from Egypt showing a pictograph of a man with a withered leg. I was in a microorganism lecture, and the instructor was discussing polio, it’s long history, and how people related to it even when they didn’t know about micro-organisms and their functions. My hours of InuYasha may have added the adventure element to the dream. I was grumpy when I woke up though, I wanted to see what was in that next room. Perhaps tonight.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Restless
I'm restless. I sit down, five minutes later I get back up. I try to concentrate on a book or my knitting. I can't. I don't know what it is, but something is nagging on me. I can feel it, deep in my brain. It manifests in my back - it's all knotted up, in my stomach - it's been upset or full of butterflies (and sometimes both) all day, in my head - I can't keep my thoughts from running at a million miles an hour and I have a slight headache, and in my feet - they have the restless feet syndrome. I was going to climb when I finished work today, but I feel ill, so I went to the grocery and came home. I decided to try baking, sometimes that works. I made a pan of chocolate - chocolate chip cookie bars and a pan of peanut butter rice krispie treats. Still restless. (And no, I don't intend to eat them all myself, they are for a meeting at work tomorrow.)
I don't think it's my job, I'm doing well now that I understand what is expected of me, and I'm enjoying the challenges. I don't think it's the Packers or the Twins, though the Twins could have won a game during the less to day s to make me less anxious. I don't think it's my 'home' life either. I'm caught up on bills, I do have laundry to do, but laundry has never before placed me in such a state. Right now I'm to a point where my tummy feels OK again, so I think I'm going to get my running things on and stretch quick and then head out for a 30 min jog. Even typing this didn't help bring to the surface the root of my restlessness, so maybe running will. If that doesn't help, maybe simply the fresh air of the gorgeous day we're having will do the trick. I have to figure something out though, it's driving me nuts!
I'm restless. I sit down, five minutes later I get back up. I try to concentrate on a book or my knitting. I can't. I don't know what it is, but something is nagging on me. I can feel it, deep in my brain. It manifests in my back - it's all knotted up, in my stomach - it's been upset or full of butterflies (and sometimes both) all day, in my head - I can't keep my thoughts from running at a million miles an hour and I have a slight headache, and in my feet - they have the restless feet syndrome. I was going to climb when I finished work today, but I feel ill, so I went to the grocery and came home. I decided to try baking, sometimes that works. I made a pan of chocolate - chocolate chip cookie bars and a pan of peanut butter rice krispie treats. Still restless. (And no, I don't intend to eat them all myself, they are for a meeting at work tomorrow.)
I don't think it's my job, I'm doing well now that I understand what is expected of me, and I'm enjoying the challenges. I don't think it's the Packers or the Twins, though the Twins could have won a game during the less to day s to make me less anxious. I don't think it's my 'home' life either. I'm caught up on bills, I do have laundry to do, but laundry has never before placed me in such a state. Right now I'm to a point where my tummy feels OK again, so I think I'm going to get my running things on and stretch quick and then head out for a 30 min jog. Even typing this didn't help bring to the surface the root of my restlessness, so maybe running will. If that doesn't help, maybe simply the fresh air of the gorgeous day we're having will do the trick. I have to figure something out though, it's driving me nuts!
Friday, September 29, 2006
Cleaning - Completed
I feel so accomplished. I finished my huge list of cleaning and also managed to finish a scarf I was knitting. It is green and longerish. I know, really descriptive, but it looks nice and I like it. Also, it's just in time because I think next week is the final hurrah for the warm weather. It is supposed to be almost 80 here on Monday, and then they are predicting the major storms. As long as it doesn't tornado my house down, I'm Ok.
My parents are going to be here for the weekend. They just called to tell me they made it to their hotel ok, and tell me their room number. I have a swimming suit and towel contraption all packed ready to soak in the hot tub tonight! I am going to need it too. I worked out hard this week. Lots of squats and lunges and running - on a treadmill instead of the elliptical. I feel pretty ok right now, some sore back and legs, but Wednesday I was so sore. I would look at the flight of stairs I have to climb to get to my desk at work, and they would do the dreamscape become a mile long thing in my mind. I had to pysch myself up to go up (and down) them. I really planned my trips for a two days. That was from Tuesday's workout. Thursday I worked out as well, and that whole theory on the 'hair of the dog that bit you' really does work.
Tomorrow is Karate, so any lingering soreness may go away then. Sunday is supposed to be so nice, I'll probably play softball in the park and go to the batting cages once my parent's leave. It will be a fun weekend having them here! Hm, speaking of... I should really go pick up Trevor from the airport and then go pick up food and meet my parents at the hotel for the aforementioned hot tub.
I feel so accomplished. I finished my huge list of cleaning and also managed to finish a scarf I was knitting. It is green and longerish. I know, really descriptive, but it looks nice and I like it. Also, it's just in time because I think next week is the final hurrah for the warm weather. It is supposed to be almost 80 here on Monday, and then they are predicting the major storms. As long as it doesn't tornado my house down, I'm Ok.
My parents are going to be here for the weekend. They just called to tell me they made it to their hotel ok, and tell me their room number. I have a swimming suit and towel contraption all packed ready to soak in the hot tub tonight! I am going to need it too. I worked out hard this week. Lots of squats and lunges and running - on a treadmill instead of the elliptical. I feel pretty ok right now, some sore back and legs, but Wednesday I was so sore. I would look at the flight of stairs I have to climb to get to my desk at work, and they would do the dreamscape become a mile long thing in my mind. I had to pysch myself up to go up (and down) them. I really planned my trips for a two days. That was from Tuesday's workout. Thursday I worked out as well, and that whole theory on the 'hair of the dog that bit you' really does work.
Tomorrow is Karate, so any lingering soreness may go away then. Sunday is supposed to be so nice, I'll probably play softball in the park and go to the batting cages once my parent's leave. It will be a fun weekend having them here! Hm, speaking of... I should really go pick up Trevor from the airport and then go pick up food and meet my parents at the hotel for the aforementioned hot tub.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Crazy Cleaning Frenzy
I told myself that today was a cleaning day. I could sleep in, but not past noon, and then I had to begin the cleaning on my list. It has been six hours, and I haven't accomplished as much as I wished I had, but I have attacked a lot. I have dusted the house and cleaned the bathroom. I have organized the garbage and recycling to go out tonight. I have organized the pantry, kitchen, and linen closet. Left on my list, you ask?
The problem with the 'leave it' theory? Tuesday I think I may go golfing. Wednesday perhaps to the Twins game. Thursday is happy hour, and Friday my parent's are coming to visit. That leaves the rest of today and perhaps tomorrow night. I think I'm going to go find a small snack and then attack my room.
I told myself that today was a cleaning day. I could sleep in, but not past noon, and then I had to begin the cleaning on my list. It has been six hours, and I haven't accomplished as much as I wished I had, but I have attacked a lot. I have dusted the house and cleaned the bathroom. I have organized the garbage and recycling to go out tonight. I have organized the pantry, kitchen, and linen closet. Left on my list, you ask?
- put away summer clothes and take out winter ones
- make bags of clothes not worn this summer to take to goodwill
- repack the closet (part of the above two, but also some minor maintenence of boxes contained within
- organize bookshelves (have decided I require a third bookshelf. May head out to purchase tonight, but more likely will go on list of things to do tomorrow
The problem with the 'leave it' theory? Tuesday I think I may go golfing. Wednesday perhaps to the Twins game. Thursday is happy hour, and Friday my parent's are coming to visit. That leaves the rest of today and perhaps tomorrow night. I think I'm going to go find a small snack and then attack my room.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Birthday Fun
Last night, a bunch of people went out to help me celebrate my birthday. We went to the Wild Onion, which if you have not been there for birthdays, you are missing out! If it is the day of your birthday, they give you a free t-shirt, a pound of chicken wings, free alcohol in a huge mug (until 9PM), and balloons. I forgot the balloons at the restaurant, but they would have been a pain to drive home with anyway. (No, I was not driving. That would have been silly considering the size of the mug and the fact I drank 3 of them.) After the Wild Onion, most people came to my place to eat ice cream cake and chill for a bit. I was quite squiffy by the end of the night, but had a great time.
Jenni is in town for the long weekend, and tonight we are going to go climbing, and tomorrow I may go climbing, I think others are going to the Ren Fest. Saturday night we might go dancing, and the Sunday is sleep and football. In that order :P
Last night, a bunch of people went out to help me celebrate my birthday. We went to the Wild Onion, which if you have not been there for birthdays, you are missing out! If it is the day of your birthday, they give you a free t-shirt, a pound of chicken wings, free alcohol in a huge mug (until 9PM), and balloons. I forgot the balloons at the restaurant, but they would have been a pain to drive home with anyway. (No, I was not driving. That would have been silly considering the size of the mug and the fact I drank 3 of them.) After the Wild Onion, most people came to my place to eat ice cream cake and chill for a bit. I was quite squiffy by the end of the night, but had a great time.
Jenni is in town for the long weekend, and tonight we are going to go climbing, and tomorrow I may go climbing, I think others are going to the Ren Fest. Saturday night we might go dancing, and the Sunday is sleep and football. In that order :P
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
A pictoral history of Labor Day
First stop, the packer game. Even though my Packers were trounced, it was still a great time. Plus, our beer man rocked! He made a special trip to get me and mine some Mike's Hard Lemonade, even though they usually make you go get it yourself. Beer man, you rock.
Second stop, Door County. First Karin, Trevor, and I made a really large pile of wood w/ my dad. Dad and Mom had started the pile the week before. Then, we burned it. This is after the fire had been going for a while. The pile was quite a big, so big infact we started our reserve pile (on the left, the chiken looking fire) on fire too. Oops.
No, I didn't really start Dad's tractor on fire, but it did take a fun picture.
Sunday Trevor and I went to the corn maze. We didn't get lost, and managed to find all 18 little stamps. We decided it would be great fun to go back in w/ the map in our pocket, get ourselves lost for 30 minutes and then try to get back out (without map of course).
From the bridge of the corn maze (the picture above is the map on that bridge) one can see a cow excreting an ice cream cone. That's how fresh the ice cream was at this place. No doubt.
We also went to some wineries, and cave point, and mini putting. Lots of fun packed into one weekend! Whee.
First stop, the packer game. Even though my Packers were trounced, it was still a great time. Plus, our beer man rocked! He made a special trip to get me and mine some Mike's Hard Lemonade, even though they usually make you go get it yourself. Beer man, you rock.
Second stop, Door County. First Karin, Trevor, and I made a really large pile of wood w/ my dad. Dad and Mom had started the pile the week before. Then, we burned it. This is after the fire had been going for a while. The pile was quite a big, so big infact we started our reserve pile (on the left, the chiken looking fire) on fire too. Oops. 
No, I didn't really start Dad's tractor on fire, but it did take a fun picture.
Sunday Trevor and I went to the corn maze. We didn't get lost, and managed to find all 18 little stamps. We decided it would be great fun to go back in w/ the map in our pocket, get ourselves lost for 30 minutes and then try to get back out (without map of course).
From the bridge of the corn maze (the picture above is the map on that bridge) one can see a cow excreting an ice cream cone. That's how fresh the ice cream was at this place. No doubt.We also went to some wineries, and cave point, and mini putting. Lots of fun packed into one weekend! Whee.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Quick Post
I'm going to work, then off to Green Bay to watch the Packers play at Lambeau Friday afternoon. Then it's up to Door County for a bonfire and fun. A weekend away from the State Fair, yay!
I'm going to work, then off to Green Bay to watch the Packers play at Lambeau Friday afternoon. Then it's up to Door County for a bonfire and fun. A weekend away from the State Fair, yay!
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Nic e Suprise
Have I mentioned how much I dislike the fair? At least, I dislike living by it. I do like it. I enjoy the all you can drink milk, for example. Oh, and the baby animal barn. But living by the fair, that can suck. You get people parking in your lot (ie the two twits down there now), you get people littering on your lawn, you get to listen to the music - whether you want to or not, and it's dirty.
Still, there are good things. Fireworks everynight, seen from the balcony. The grandstand does have good shows. I went to one last Thursday. Great show - The Magic Numbers (who only got to play two songs because it monsooned adn their equipment was drenched), Sonic Youth, and the Flaming Lips. I would have enjoyed the show more, however, had I not lost my ID and bankcard right before the show. They fell out of my pocket while I was running through said monsoon. I thought they were gone forever, but I had a nice suprise.
I wonderful Minnesotan, or perhaps just a wonderful person, found my idea floating down the river/street, picked it up, and brought it to the gate. They contacted me, and I have it back. That is the extremely short version of the story, but hits the main point...someone brought it back. How great is that? I have to get a new bankcard, because the company put a hold on this one as I'd reported it had gone missing, but that is a minor inconvienence. Whee.
Have I mentioned how much I dislike the fair? At least, I dislike living by it. I do like it. I enjoy the all you can drink milk, for example. Oh, and the baby animal barn. But living by the fair, that can suck. You get people parking in your lot (ie the two twits down there now), you get people littering on your lawn, you get to listen to the music - whether you want to or not, and it's dirty.
Still, there are good things. Fireworks everynight, seen from the balcony. The grandstand does have good shows. I went to one last Thursday. Great show - The Magic Numbers (who only got to play two songs because it monsooned adn their equipment was drenched), Sonic Youth, and the Flaming Lips. I would have enjoyed the show more, however, had I not lost my ID and bankcard right before the show. They fell out of my pocket while I was running through said monsoon. I thought they were gone forever, but I had a nice suprise.
I wonderful Minnesotan, or perhaps just a wonderful person, found my idea floating down the river/street, picked it up, and brought it to the gate. They contacted me, and I have it back. That is the extremely short version of the story, but hits the main point...someone brought it back. How great is that? I have to get a new bankcard, because the company put a hold on this one as I'd reported it had gone missing, but that is a minor inconvienence. Whee.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Busy busy
I thought when I finished school things would calm down. After all, I wasn't doing homework all night long, working as many hours as I could, and doing homework. Apparently not though. I seem to have less hours in the day, not more. Some of it is my fault. I need to designate days where I stay home and work on things there. I keep going out and having fun. I've picked up golf again with a vengence, and even bought new clubs this weekend. I've started climbing again, though grant it...I could do more. I'm doing moring aerobics/spin classes before work. This week is odd though as I have training Wed/Thurs all day on campus. Back to school. :)
After work is golfing, or canning foods with Karin (lately anyway), or any number of other random things. This week I went to Trevor's softball game last night, golfing tonight, wednesday I'm setting aside to clean, Thursday I am going to the Fair - and that's a post for a different day..., and Friday either happy hour or to makeovers or to some yet unannounced third thing. Or all three. I never get to read anymore :(
I've been working at my job for a month. It's starting to become easier. Not necessarily the material I do, but understanding what they want me to do. As I get into my routine, I'm sure hours will open up here or there. I miss chilling with all my friends whenever I want. It does suck when you get up at 5, because the nights all of a sudden are so much shorter. (Or they should be if you want to be somewhat aware of what is going on at work.)
I'm taking a personal holiday over Labor Day weekend to go to Door County. Hopefully that is nice and relaxing.
I thought when I finished school things would calm down. After all, I wasn't doing homework all night long, working as many hours as I could, and doing homework. Apparently not though. I seem to have less hours in the day, not more. Some of it is my fault. I need to designate days where I stay home and work on things there. I keep going out and having fun. I've picked up golf again with a vengence, and even bought new clubs this weekend. I've started climbing again, though grant it...I could do more. I'm doing moring aerobics/spin classes before work. This week is odd though as I have training Wed/Thurs all day on campus. Back to school. :)
After work is golfing, or canning foods with Karin (lately anyway), or any number of other random things. This week I went to Trevor's softball game last night, golfing tonight, wednesday I'm setting aside to clean, Thursday I am going to the Fair - and that's a post for a different day..., and Friday either happy hour or to makeovers or to some yet unannounced third thing. Or all three. I never get to read anymore :(
I've been working at my job for a month. It's starting to become easier. Not necessarily the material I do, but understanding what they want me to do. As I get into my routine, I'm sure hours will open up here or there. I miss chilling with all my friends whenever I want. It does suck when you get up at 5, because the nights all of a sudden are so much shorter. (Or they should be if you want to be somewhat aware of what is going on at work.)
I'm taking a personal holiday over Labor Day weekend to go to Door County. Hopefully that is nice and relaxing.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
DONE!
I’m done! I finished Grad School! Yesterday, I defended my thesis, and passed my oral exam. Thus completes 7 years at university and two degrees. I feel…
I’m not sure what I feel. I know it hasn’t sunk in yet. I’m elated, and sad and happy and tired. Mostly tired. Drained I think would be a more accurate verb. I am scholarly drained. I have so much to do at home, and I look at the messes I have to clean up and think…tomorrow, or the next day, not now. I will get to the dishes, and to the messes. But right now I’m spent.
Part of me is thinking what next. I have my Bachelor’s and my Master’s. PhD? Maybe. Not yet. I need more time to learn things. Right now I have my job and I am VERY SLOWLY integrating into my work there. Very slowly learning all I need to learn, going through hours and hours of training. I have more days where I feel comfortable, but some still where I feel like I know nothing, I’m behind, and I’m lost. Those feelings will fade I think, or at least diminish into the background as I catch up to the others, but eep.
It will feel very strange not going to school after Labor Day. For 23 years I have gone to school every fall. This will be the first time I haven’t. Ever. I don’t know what I’m going to do on September 5. I may morn, I may jump for joy. I may plan a happy hour to celebrate. We’ll see.
Speaking of happy hour, that’s what I did last night with my coworkers. Go out and celebrate my ability to continue working my job (because it was contingent on finishing my degree in 6 months).
Now I just hope that the rain stays away long enough to go golfing tonight.
I’m done! I finished Grad School! Yesterday, I defended my thesis, and passed my oral exam. Thus completes 7 years at university and two degrees. I feel…
I’m not sure what I feel. I know it hasn’t sunk in yet. I’m elated, and sad and happy and tired. Mostly tired. Drained I think would be a more accurate verb. I am scholarly drained. I have so much to do at home, and I look at the messes I have to clean up and think…tomorrow, or the next day, not now. I will get to the dishes, and to the messes. But right now I’m spent.
Part of me is thinking what next. I have my Bachelor’s and my Master’s. PhD? Maybe. Not yet. I need more time to learn things. Right now I have my job and I am VERY SLOWLY integrating into my work there. Very slowly learning all I need to learn, going through hours and hours of training. I have more days where I feel comfortable, but some still where I feel like I know nothing, I’m behind, and I’m lost. Those feelings will fade I think, or at least diminish into the background as I catch up to the others, but eep.
It will feel very strange not going to school after Labor Day. For 23 years I have gone to school every fall. This will be the first time I haven’t. Ever. I don’t know what I’m going to do on September 5. I may morn, I may jump for joy. I may plan a happy hour to celebrate. We’ll see.
Speaking of happy hour, that’s what I did last night with my coworkers. Go out and celebrate my ability to continue working my job (because it was contingent on finishing my degree in 6 months).
Now I just hope that the rain stays away long enough to go golfing tonight.
