I give Road Constuction the BIRD!
From Katie's Blog: "As brought on by recent events and a discussion with a close friend, I have come to the realization that I give the middle finger quite often. Now, I know most people will admit to flipping the occasional bird here and there, but there comes a point when it becomes more than just a symbolic representation of the phrase "Fuck you!"--when it becomes...an addiction. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am addicted to flicking off. "

I think I may have gained just a bit of this addiction here or there from my dear twin. Or maybe it came from my wonderful cousins, who were always flipping me the bird, in as many "creative" ways as they could think of. I would like to formally pass on that tradition towards WI and MN's longest season, and biggest annoyance...Road Construction. Yes, here in WI and MN we have 4 seasons, Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and ROAD CONSTRUCTION! Yes, I realize it is a necessary annoyance, and gives many people jobs, and it is a very respectable job, but you have to understand, it's not kosher at 11PM when you don't expect it.

Yes, I have just gotten done watching one of those jump out and try to scare you with the spooky music and the flashing scenes and the chick with big boobs that likes to scream at annoying pitches horror movies, so I figured I had had my share of badly timed surprises. Then...I could almost feel the spooky music starting, and a few raindrops hit my windshield, and there it was...the big, bright, flashing sign that said..."94 East ramp closed, find alternate route" . What the F^$&? Find a who? I don't know my way about that area, where am I to go? So, I keep driving and I see a second sign..."94 East ramp, Closed 11PM to 5AM"...with some dates I couldn't make out. The music is getting louder, and I have to look behind myself now (and I'm a smart horror movie heroine, I looked in front, behind, on both sides, above and below me, and then I didn't run upstairs or downstairs or into the area where we all know the monster is). Still, nothing to worry about, I'm brave and I am smart, I'll find a way. Third sign (what is it about threes????) 94 east ramp closed, find alternate route. Still the bastards are not suggesting an alternate route. Where is the Minnesota Nice I've heard so much about???!??!?! So, I am starting to get a bit heart thumpy when, there, just on the side of the road, this smart heroine sees what appears to be her salvation. "94 East Ramp, follow Dunwoody exit"

Ok, I can do that. I take the exit, and end up on Hennepin, I know the name of the street, I'm ok. I drive for a while, and I end up downtown (not a fun palce to be when a concert it letting out I can tell you!) and I see another sign, 94 East ---> that way, so I turn. Now I'm on 6th street and going throught the tall buildings, and going and going and going. Why? I think. Why didn't I stick with the origional plan. Now I'm going to get my throat bitten off like those stupid heroine chicks. Still, I had followed an instinct, so I stayed on, in the middle lane, with two escape routes. Down I drove, past the buildings, and past the metrodome. Now, where the hell...Ok, I see two options, turn left, hit Washington, go that way, I can do that, or go straight...I go straight (again the instinct). There are no signs, but all of a sudden I'm on an "on" ramp. Where am I goign? Apparently to 94E! YAY! Then the idiot-single-person-in-his-car-while-in-the-carpool-lane to try to pass me tryes to cut me off. Hells no. So I speed up, almost get run off the road, get the bird from him (probably) while giving him one, while steering one handed around a turn, 20 miles too fast, but making it just and passing him! HA, take that bastard! (Ok, I don't normally drive like that, but it so happened that I felt the need cause I was mad at MN-DoT Orange signs at the moment.)

So now I'm home, adventure over, and I'd just like to honor all the MN-Dot Orange signs that I will see this coming Road Construction season with my middle finger, waiving proudly as a flag, flying high as any bird!