Overbid...

I decided not to buy the car. It was a really hard decision, but now that I have made it, I don't regret it. That may be the biggest indication that it was the correct choice. I loved it, and will probably get one just like it when I'm graduated at have a real job and my Super Saturn breaths her last gas fumes, but it just wasn't feasible right now. The estimate on financing game back too high.

The gentleman called me again today to tell me that the car was still available for a test drive, should I want to. Why? Why would I want to go reaquaint myself with the car I cannot have. And I do know that. If they were willing to adjust the financing, perhaps we could do a deal. They are not. I told him I'd keep him in mind when I do decide to buy a new car. I will keep his card, but I don't feel any particular loyalty to him. After all, he was just doing his job.

Now, on to more pressing things. Like homework and makeup and daydreaming. NOT in that order.

…A NEW CAR!!!!!

Why is it when I think of my actions in the last two to three days, I am reminded of Wheel of Fortune? I wish that were the case, and the car I’m thinking about was free. It would be such an easier decision then.

It is noon on Monday. Today is the day I decide if I buy the car I ‘sort of bought’ on Saturday(pictured here). To explain: Saturday Katie and I went to the Saturn dealership to get the oil changed in our cars. We were not first in line. So we turned over our keys and went out onto the lot to take a peak at the used cars. Out came the salesman. I got talking with him about what I was looking for in a “new car”. New to me, you understand, not necessarily a brand new with no miles on it. So, there I was, explaining what I wanted and out from his mouth comes the ‘perfect’ solution. The 2005 Vue with all these options and this great pricing…So I take one for a test drive and I like it and I have my old car appraised for trade in and do some preliminary financing and tell them I’m definitely interested. They will hold the car through Monday at the end of business for me. At this point I still don’t know if I want the car for sure. I mean, I love the car, but do I need a new car right this minute? Wouldn’t it be easier to wait until I’m out of grad school to have a car payment? Shouldn’t I start saving for a house and not worry about a new car on top of everything else? I called the insurance people. The new car would cost a grand total of 17 dollars more per 6 months. That is not the issue. Mom and Dad are leery, but they say this is ultimately my decision. It would be so much easier on me if they just said yes or no, or if they gave me a really good reason to say yes or no. They brought up some things I didn’t think about, such: What if I don’t find a job right away? What about the fact that I don’t have a garage? Do I really want to be spending that money on a car payment, or would I rather use it for something else? The thing is, my car has about 2 years left in it…maybe more. I could finish school, get a job, and then buy a car. A new 2006 or 2007 car, or even buy a hybrid car. Do I really need to do this now?

It’s now 1:22 on Monday. I’ve talked with Saturn, they are applying for the car loan for me. It’s not necessary that I buy the car yet; I’m trying to determine my financing. What will my payments be? In the interim, I was talking with Cliff and he told me Missy is looking for a new car, and what will I sell mine for? I tell him blue book, and then tell him about my random electrical gremlin, and give him a price. He calls Missy. He calls me back. They will look at it tonight at 6PM. What they will give me is more than trade in value. Mom is looking for the Title for my current car. It’s still not a for sure yes. If I do sell it to Missy rather than trade it the amount of my down payment goes up. The Saturn Financier knows that I may do the trade in, or I may do simply cash down. He’s pricing both options for me. I still don’t know if I am ready for this. I know I can afford it, but is that the point? I want it, but is that the point?

Why is this so hard for me? I should be able to make the decision. Saturday night I was so gung-ho. Sunday I talked with Mom and Dad and had some doubts thrown in. I talked with my friends some more and was about 50/50. Today I have to make the decision. Now I know my old car could help a friend who needs a vehicle, and I could still have my new car. I had anxiety dreams last night. I feel like this is going too fast. I have til 9PM today. I can still say no. I can still keep the Super Saturn until she dies. Still, the new car is essentially half off, and will most likely never be this good of a deal again. So much to think about, and I don’t have so long. I am tempted to say, put it back out on the lot. I’ll think about it a bit more, and call a credit union or two. If it sells before I call you back, it was not meant to be. Is that the answer, or is that just hedging the decision.

Here I thought I had gotten better at being assertive, and at decision-making. If this is what I’m like today, how bad was I in the past? How will I be at buying a house? In this case I even know the car I want. It’s not like I am trying to decide whether or not to buy and what to buy. The longer I think, the more I think I should wait. But will I wait or take the plunge? Who knows. I don’t. I hope to by 9PM tonight.

I am going to go do homework and encourage a 7^th grader. That is from 3-5:30…but in reality from 2:30 to 6 (with drive time). At 6 I’ll have Cliff and Missy and I take my car for a test drive. They can decide if they like it. At 6:45 I’ll be headed to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. So by 6:45 I have to call Saturn back and say yes or no. I really should decide before I let Missy drive my car. If she likes it, and then I say…but I’m not selling, that would be cruel (though it would answer the question about if she likes Saturn’s…) I have homework to do, I should not be doing this. I really need to not get my oil changed at the Saturn dealership. See what happens when you are not first in line???

My 2nd Northshore Inline Marathon

I had three goals for my 2nd marathon...I met 1 of them. I managed to finish. I didn't finish faster than last year (by 7 seconds), and I didn't manage to not fall down. If you take a peak at the picture below, you will see me sporting a new pair of elbow accessories. I fell twice. The first time I bruised my left hip and took some skin off my left elbow. The second fall was straight onto my tailbone/lower back and took the skin off my right elbow (and a little more on my left elbow. I looked up my condition on WebMD and have what is politely termed, "a high energy fall onto the buttocks". There is a nice purple bruise forming there (no picture included). All in all, I have a very bruised bottom and lower back, and sitting is a pain in the ass. I can't lay on my back in bed either, I have to choose the stomach or side options. Still, I'm getting better each day, and the marathon was still fun, even though I crashed and burned twice. I'm looking forward to next year when I will kick the races butt, and manage to finish faster than 1:47.

Our team probably took 2nd (the team results aren't posted yet). Karin went with me and was also a bit dissapointed in her race/finish, but we're confident in next year's race hopes. Tessa (Lance's older sister)talked about doing it; we should hold her to that.

Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to sit through class tomorrow...maybe I'll bring a fleece sweatshirt just to sit on :) I think I'll ride the bus standing as well.



Me after the race. Notice the nice new elbow decorations I've aquired? Yeah, oops. At least they gave me a wheeled version of an albatross to wear around my neck. My very own 10th year Anniversary Wheel for the NSIM.

Five members of the MPCA Inline Skate Team. We Roll! 

Another year had been and gone.

Yesterday I celebrated my 25th b-day with a whole bunch of friends. It was so great! I figured if you are going to turn a quarter of a century old (or young) you should throw a bash. We went to Olive Garden for food, they have the all you can eat pasta bowl thing going on right now. Good food, slow service. We got there about 7, but they didn't have a table ready. By the time we sat down, ate, and left it was 10 PM. We came back to my place and I got some really cool cards and presents from people...including the InuYasha movie 3...Just wait til that shows up in the mail. Then there will be a watching party for all interested in the genre. (Lance, Katie and I for sure...any other takers?) I also got a most wonderful gift certificate to B&N...now the question is, what do I get there? There are so many options! After all that we ate the cake - a most delicious ice cream cake for Dairy Queen. Between the 16 of us here, we still didn't manage to finish it, but that means there are leftovers for me for today. Yay! Then there was some random games of the trivia persuasion, and then people had to leave.

Over all, it was one of the best B-days I've had in ages. I was surrounded by people who are great friends, and had a great time. Thanks all! Now, the only b-day present I have to buy myself is a new Eeyore. My 9 year old Eeyore has had a stuffing hemmorage that was (and is) unfixable with stiches. Anyone want to go to the Disney Store with me and help me to pick out another Eeyore to love?

Here we all are at Olive Garden celebrating my 25th. All but Amanda, who is behind the camera. Good food but slow service. We kept ourselves from getting bored by chatting and playing Telephone. 

Lee, Elyssa, and Amanda. They all live together next door to where Chris used to live (and Lee used to live as well). Amanda took the nice group picture. 

Here is the wonderful b-day cake in question. Dairy Queen Ice Cream Cakes rock. Oh, and so does haveingt Strawberry Shortcake as the decoration. 

Just one week left

I have one week until I do my second inline marathon. The Northshore Inline Marathon is set for next saturday (so by now I'd be done) at 7:30 AM. Of course, since you don't do loops, that means loading a bus no later than 6:30 AM in order to reach the starting point for the 7:30 start. I'm really looking forward to it, but I'm just a trifle scared as well. Part of me is convinced that I'm not in the same shape I was last year, which means I'll so worse, and then I'll be grumpy. Hell, just to finish two years in a row will be an accomplishment in my book. I just finished rotating my wheels and cleaning and oiling my bearings in preparation for said race. My hands feel milky soft now from the cleanser and oil. Hehe, I also smell like citrus cleaner.

I'm house sitting again this weekend. So nice, as it has decided to turn hot, and this house has A/C. I'm very medicated, watching the puppies requires oodles of allergy meds during the ragweed season, but they are fun too. We went for a walk this afternoon, first Addy and I for a half hour and then Dylan and I for about 15 minutes. He is a puppy, and still learning the finess of walking. Mostly he jumps at the leash. By the last five minutes he was doing really good, so I decided to end on a high note.

Tonight Katie and I are going to chill. I'll do homework tomorrow!

Back to School

Here we go, back to school again. I started my two at-school classes today, but haven't yet looked at the content of my online class. I know I should, but I think that is a project for after dinner. I just finished rollerblading, and it was one of the least rewarding experiences I have had in the sport in awhile. I probably did 10 miles, and it took me a whole hour (very slow for me), and the whole time I was doing it nothing felt right. I think I will have to rotate and clean my wheels tonight and give it another go tomorrow. On the drive back from the trail my car turned off its cruise control by itself (maybe it felt ignored if I wasn't pushing the pedal) and then did the random gages-going-to-zero-and-then-resetting-themselves-trick (she really likes that one). I am about to eat some pizza and hopefully make my grumpyness go away. And then I'll take a shower and make my smelliness go away. And then I'll get into the grind of schoolwork. Doesn't that sound like barrels of fun? I think I'll make some tea too.

This weekend was really cool. Karin and I went to Door County and did much winery tours. I came back with a case of wine. All different sorts. I am excited to drink them as well - I got a cool toy to keep the wine fresh. It is called a vacuvin and it pulls the air out of the bottle to keep the wine fresh with it's specially designed 'cork'.

I am thining th ebeginning of this semester will be a breeze, and the end will suck. Personally I am a bit afraid of what might happen. More on that later. I haven't posted pictures in a while, maybe I'll get around to that later tonight as well.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

This Friday is my last day at work. I can't really believe that almost 3 years have passed since I began this job. I am sad to go, because I will miss the people. The work - well, it's "student work" and as such rather boring 90% of the time. Still, the time has come to pursue a different avenue of thought, and a new adventure.

That adventure will be named "Master's Thesis". Many such endeavors have been undertaken by Master's students throughout time. Peruse your local University Library thesis section if you should like some examples of the Works That Have Gone Before. My Work will be done on the crucial topic of decontamination of methamphetamine in HVAC systems in meth labs, and the air sampling that goes along with it. No, that is not its current title. The current working title (on the Work Plan anyway) is: Sampling for Methamphetamine Contamination in Air and HVAC Systems in Former Meth Labs. It’s just about as long and bulky as the description listed above. As I really detest long trumped up academic titles, I am currently in the market for a nickname for my project. Should you have any ideas, please contact me. I fully intend to use the winning nickname as the title of my Master’s Oral Defense. The Oral is the Final Exam of All Final Exams that I will need to pass in order to gain my degree. I am determined that it will be a fun and low key affair, as the topic is already weighty. I intend to bring powdered sugar covered donuts, and maybe even rock candy, and soda as a snack, and name it after the nick name, and have a great time with it.

School begins September 6th, as does my Thesis Work. I will be working mostly from home, with some time at school and some time in the ‘field’ (read: busted meth labs). I hope to finish the data collection by December and the writing of the thesis by March. I think I’ll be making a poster for the AIHce conference in May. It’s in Chicago this year. Anyone want to go to Chicago w/ me?

On a side note – pun intended – I have added a few new blog links to my Friend’s Blogs links in the sidebar. My friend Chris’s Blog, Canyons of the Deep, and my friend Lee’s Blog, Dinosaur in Trouble; my apologies Chris and Lee for taking so bloody long to link you. I am not so good at remembering to make template changes.

::Sniff, sniff:: “A-choo!”

Bloody allergies. Seriously. They are terrible right now. I finished my house/dog sitting and thought perhaps it would get better. After all, even though there are still house allergies and outside allergies, there are no more pet allergies. Still, no luck. Katie has it worse than me though. She never really had allergies until she moved to MN. I’m so used to them; I can’t remember a time without them.

I’m in the home stretch for my ‘day job’. Soon (sometime next week) I’ll leave the office in favor of a research assistantship with the U. It will count as my field experience, my project, and my job for the next one or two semesters. I have a whole bunch of stuff to finish at work before I can leave for good though. I didn’t quite realize everything I did here. I have my hand in many proverbial cookie jars, and need to write out what I do for each. Then there’s the mundane cleaning of the desk, and packing of personal shite. Oh, and training the new worker. I think he’ll work out good for my Unit. Oh yeah, I also have to make sure my files are complete when I leave and take some info with me. It’s rather bittersweet. Heh.

Jenni and Chad have most wonderfully found out that Chad got the job he wanted. They are working on moving this weekend and I’m thinking I may go up and baby sit during the festivities. Other friends are going to the Renaissance Festival during the day. I also need to clean and organize my room sometime before Labor Day so that I can fit my new desk (when I buy one) in there and buy a bookshelf so that I have room for all my books and plants. I also want a flat screen monitor.

School starts just after Labor Day, and the Fair ends then. Today marks the beginning of that Get-together. Luckily the weather was threatening rain so traffic wasn’t so bad this morning when I left home. As Fair progresses, though, it will only get worse. Still, I love where I live. The two weeks of the Fair are the only downside.

::sniffle, cough:: Right now the plan is to find someone who won’t mind my stealing a bag of tea, as I forgot mine. Tea helps allergies, I’m convinced. If not, at least it will sooth my scratchy throat.

Busy Busy

It has been one busy week. Last Thursday Rachel came to town to pick up the plants I’d been watching (they have a tendency to run away without careful supervision) and to visit people here in the Twin Cities. We have had great fun; playing chess, going to the zoo, watching movies, going canoeing, and playing Frisbee. We went to the farmer’s market Saturday morning and found some chocolate raspberry sauce that is so very nice. We decided that it would make a good topping for some nice, thick brownies. We were right. The brownies are gone now (sadness abounds, and I’m thinking that only another bake-fest will alleviate the problem) but there is still some sauce left. I started house- and dog-sitting for a coworker yesterday. Rachel got the joys of spending the night up there, since I can’t just leave them alone all night.

Puppies have the energy of 50 two-year-olds combined. I feel like I’m being run ragged, and it’s only been one day. I should be there through the weekend, though the exact end date is undetermined right now. Addy, the older dog, I’ve ‘sat’ before; she’s the sweetest, calmest, dog anyone could ask for. If they both had the energy of Dylan, the puppy, I’d be done for.

I’ve almost finished my online classes. Management is completely done, and I’m one quiz and one final away from finishing my Epidemiology class. With those completed, I’ll have two weeks off before fall semester. Fall semester I’m taking Environmental Chemistry, Social and Behavioral Science and Biostatical Methods I. I’ll also take my field experience credits then. I’m taking biostats online, so I’ll only have to go to class T/Th from 11:15-2:40. Not a bad schedule at all.

Those two weeks off coincide with the State Fair. Yes, those two weeks that are the “great Minnesota get-together” are also my two weeks of “get off my lawn! Stop blowing off fireworks when I’m trying to sleep! Could it get any dustier? Why are there so many people ALWAYS? Traffic Sucks!” The fiar is a great idea, I’m sure…it just blows that I live a block or so away from the fairgrounds. It means a free fireworks show every night, which is nice…but it’s also people and cars and dust and noise and tempers. I plan to go to WI for Labor Day to avoid the last, very chaotic, weekend of it. The rest of the time I’ll just have to deal. I went two years ago, and missed last year, so I may go this year. It depends on how much money I want to spend on entrance, food, and stuff. I may just go to the fair by association. I don’t need ________-on-a-stick anyway.

I told you I'd eventually post some pictures from the wedding. It only took 2 weeks. Here's the lucky bride and groom, about to cut the cake. Or maybe they are just teasing us and are going to stand there posing like that for 10 minutes? 

Jasmine and I pose for a shot in the flowers. See how nice our dresses look?  

Hm, one of these things is not like the others...I am so tan in comparison to mis amigas. Still, there we all are, the Green Bay girls. 

Who says you can't golf in a formal? After dinner, I decided to hit the range. 

Today's the Day!

I am going to pick up my new futon today! I'm so excited. It's a wood framed, forest green mattress - innerspring, not just foam - and it has a warrenty and everything. This isn't your run-of-the-mill Target futon. Nope, this one comes from Sleep Comforts, a most excellent store. It's setting me back quite a bit monetarily, but I think it will be worth it. There will now be more than one place to sit down in the living room. Well, two if you count both my la-z-boy and my wicker rocker. I have the end tables set the prerequisite 82 and 3/4 inches apart so as to accomadate the length, and I've moved the coffee table to the side for ease of placement. I have to go buy a sheet set to cover this thing now so that it doesn't get too dirty. Then poof! Instant living room. It will even match the green in the 'bricks' of our fireplace. Wow, it's almost like I planned this. (Mostly, I got the green to match my plants. How lame am I?) Jenny's dad will be loaning us the use of his truck (and probably his muscles) to get it into the house. Whee, I can't wait til 6:30 tonight!

Stagnation

I have been writing too many papers for school. Dry, drab, fill in the blank, memorize and regurgitate, form style papers have sucked all semblance of imagination and creativity from my writing. I try to write an interesting post for my blog, or to write poetry, or to work on other storytelling, and I hit a giant black hole in my head. I have ideas, but they can’t beat the gravitational pull of the Black Hole called School and burst out. The forest of my imagination is locked in a state of always winter but never Christmas. I start down a new literary trail and lose the path to the weeds that inhabit my life. I have too many distractions around to write coherently. Coursework, reading books for classes, cleaning the apartment, wanting to organize all my stuff, and a few other things suck up all my time and ambition for fun things like writing and daydreaming. My daydreams have been uninspired lately, and only in sleep to I find the escape my imagination desires. I think the increased number of strange, but strangely mundane, dreams I’ve been having reflect this boring normalcy and stagnation my life has fallen into lately.

This is not to say that I haven’t been having fun. On the contrary, I’ve been active physically with all the running and rollerblading and rugby (the three R’s) as well as climbing and walking. I’ve been hanging out with friends too. This past weekend Erin and Lance were married, and it was a beautiful ceremony, a great time, and a fun weekend. I saw so many people I knew, and we were all in the same place at the same time…I have a picture to prove it, which I’ll post sometime soon (read when I get all the pictures off my camera and onto my computer, when it cools down enough outside that I can bear turning my computer on in the first place). When I have some wedding pictures downloaded, I’ll talk more about that…hopefully sometime this week. I have fun, I enjoy myself. I am in no way depressed or despondent. I am just without inspiration. I need a muse. I can sit here and imagine great things, inspiring things, wonderful things. There are funny things I could write about, stories I’ve made up and dreams I have had. I just don’t. I think I have to get back into journaling. I haven’t since I got back from New Zealand. And the kind of journaling I was doing in NZ and in my other ‘home’ journal were more of the telling details sort rather than the free association or storytelling type. Maybe I need two journals? How many places should one have to record their musings, life happenings, etc. I think I’m too much the engineer and need to compartmentalize everything. I can’t have one journal that I write everything in because then I couldn’t find something easily. I want to have one for musings, and one for personal shit, and one for daily life happenings. I am like the ‘My Documents’ folder with 10 little folders inside it, and another 10 in each of those. I’m so bogged down by my compartments that I can’t find those things I used to hold most dear.

I also have no idea where this post came from. Originally it was going to be a recounting of the weekend, until I realized that all I’ve been doing on my blog lately is retelling my life. I had wanted to use this space for that too, but also for random postings like this one, or poetry, or whatever. Maybe I don’t know what I wanted to do with it and that was the problem. Or maybe I knew what I wanted to do with it, but never made a strong enough decision to do just that. I am pretty indecisive sometimes. This post is a good start, for all its rambling and incoherence. I didn’t create Whimsical Doodles to be a place of publishable final drafts. This is a place for shitty first drafts, for ungrammatically correct postings, and for random details. Ok, I think I can stop my free association into the whither-tos and why-fors my journaling has gone astray. Maybe I should take a few creative writing classes. I not sure if that would help. I need an impetus to begin writing what I want to write again, and in the style I know I’m capable of. Writing about writing it isn’t going to get it done. I feel like I’m losing my control over the English language and the basic skills I was so good at in high school and the first few years of college.

That being said, it’s time to wrap up this post and go do something about everything I’ve written here. Though, I’ll have to put it off a bit, as I have other things to do first (hm, I’m a procrastinator too…and I’m already making excuses). Seriously though, my brother and his girlfriend are coming to visit and I have to make ready my abode.

Weekends to come and weekends past

In two days, two of my good friends are getting married. It’s amazing how time flies. I remember all the way back to when they started dating as though it were just this last year, but it’s been years. I get to be the Best Person. Being that I’m not a man, I can’t be the Best Man. Still, I’ve never before had the opportunity to stand up in someone else’s wedding, and I’m excited. I have to make a toast at dinner, I think I’m going to wing it, and I have to hold onto the rings and not lose them long enough for them to actually get married. These are fun tasks J

Last weekend I got to do another best-persony thing…I got to throw the bachelor party. I don’t know many girls who get to do that. We had a great time though, I have to say, I am pretty good at it. Too bad I’ll probably not have another chance at bachelor party throwing. Bachelorette parties, now I’ll probably get to throw and go to a few more of those.

The weekend before that was July 4th weekend. Katie and I headed over to Door County to run in a 5K, which you probably read about on her site since she’s been a better poster than me lately. Ever since then, I have wanted to A. run better/longer/faster cause I suck at it and B. not run at all because it’s been so bloody hot.

I can’t believe that we’re actually having summer this year. It’s been so warm out for the last two weeks. Over 90 for at least the last 5 days, and I’m not certain if we even had a total of 10 days over 90 all summer last year. We have to be over 10 already this year, and the weather people say there isn’t an end to it in sight. I like the heat, I do. I just don’t like having to move around in it. Swimming, yes. Running and rugby and rollerblading and working, oh no. I do believe that I’m actually pining for a nice 65 degree day.

I’m so tired right now from being out in that same weather, that the whole purpose of this post has completely slipped my mind. I started out with a plan, and it’s turned into a random reportation of facts and events. I don’t promise more creativity later, but I can promise more coherence. With that, I think I’ll go lay down…once I leave work that is.